Movies That Need To Be Adapted Into Video Games

Any cognizant person knows that when Hollywood makes a movie based off of a popular video game, nothing good can come of it. From the atrocious 1993 Super Mario Brothers to any trainwreck made by hack extraordinaire Uwe Boll, video game fans and casual moviegoers alike pretty much expect to be disappointed when they walk into the theater, as any such adaptation is certainly ill-advised.

However, on the flip side, have you ever seen a certain movie and thought to yourself, "Damn, this would be one kick-ass video game"? I know I have, and while there have been many such adaptations (either concurrent with the film's release, or years after the fact), some films have been left out for some inexplicable reason. Here are ten great movies that I wouldn't mind reenacting on my Xbox:

KILL BILL

While the only Tarantino film to be made into a game was the poorly-made 2006 adaptation of 1992's Reservoir Dogs, it's certainly surprising that there was no digital version of QT's 2003/2004 martial arts/spaghetti western-homage extravaganza Kill Bill. From her harsh training under kung fu master Pai Mei and various possible assassin missions before Bill's betrayal, to her escaping the hospital in Texas and facing the Crazy 88 gang, this bloody, rip-roaring tale of revenge would certainly earn its "M" rating.

DISTRICT 9

This sci-fi sleeper hit of 2009 surprised critics and filmgoers for its cerebral tone and sociopolitical subtext, but it certainly didn't skimp on action and spectacle. The player would portray South African government operative-turned-fugitive Wikus van der Merwe, a human slowly turning into one of the aliens that he helped persecute, desperately search for a cure for his malady. The first third of the game would have Wikus rely on stealth and his wits in the dangerous Johannesburg slums, but as his alien side takes over, the following two thirds would allow the player access to badass alien weaponry and mech battlesuits, fighting MNU operatives, Nigerian mercenaries, and even rogue alien prawns.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

Why the hell not? Any game based on the stoner action-comedy starring Seth Rogen and James Franco would be an absolute hoot to play. Playing as either slacker process server Dale Denton or high-as-a-kite pot dealer Saul Silver, the player must go on the run, battling evil drug lords, Asian gangsters, and crooked cops. Of course, the tone of the game would be as light-hearted and madcap as the film, and instead of power-ups in the form of hearts, it'd be bags of weed! Genius.

CADDYSHACK

To hell with Tiger Woods PGA Tour, this would be the ULTIMATE golfing game (and it'd actually be exciting to play). You'd be allowed to choose between playing playboy golfer Ty Webb, young caddy Danny Noonan, stuffy Judge Smails, and flamboyant Al Czervik (with Bill Murray's Carl Spackler as an unlockable character) in an 18-hole career mode, supplemented by random gopher appearances, foul language, explosions, and Kenny Loggins music.

EQUILIBRIUM

Why there hasn't been a video game based on the vastly underrated Christian Bale sci-fi thriller is beyond me. As a former law enforcement officer of a dystopian and oppressive society that outlaws and suppresses emotion, the highly efficient John Preston must aid an underground resistance movement to battle the totalitarian government he formerly worked for. This game would be martial arts nirvana, especially with the fictional "Gun Kata" fighting style made for the film.

SIN CITY

The stylish neo-noir action film based on the graphic novel series by Frank Miller turned a lot of heads for its highly stylized visuals and gritty atmosphere, and rightfully so. So just imagine a Grand Theft Auto-style action game mixed with film noir trappings, where the player would control three characters: honest cop John Hartigan, brute-with-a-heart-of-gold Marv, and mysterious killer Dwight McCarthy as they traverse through the dangerous and dark 'burg of Basin City. Add the film's monochromatic color scheme, and the rest writes itself.

THIS IS SPINAL TAP

Forget Guitar Hero. Screw Rock Band. The only music game you'd need is one starring the greatest British rock group that you've never heard of. The game, based on the classic mockumentary, would utilize the same basic gameplay engine of the two aforementioned rhythm games, only adding flourishes that would be appropriate to the movie's style, such as challenge modes where you'd have to play while under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs, minigames where the player would have to find their way around the backstage area in time for a show, and a playlist including the Tap's greatest hits, such as "Big Bottom", "Break Like the Wind", and "Lick My Love Pump".

DEATH RACE 2000

This game based on the David Carradine/Sly Stallone cult hit would have a simple premise: drive as fast as you can, and hit as many pedestrians as you can. Sure, it'd be sadistic and gratuitous, but it'd be fun as hell, right?

ARMY OF DARKNESS

While there have been quite a few video games based on the Evil Dead franchise in general, there's never been a true adaptation of the third entry in the classic screwball comedy-horror trilogy. Thrown back in time to Medieval England, chainsaw-armed supermarket clerk Ash woos the pretty ladies, yells at peasants, and vanquishes evil Deadite zombies with a variety of weapons and his Oldsmobile Delta. Throw in the voice of the great Bruce Campbell. Any questions?

BOOGIE NIGHTS

Uh... use your imagination.