Movies That Need To Be Adapted Into Video Games

Any cognizant person knows that when Hollywood makes a movie based off of a popular video game, nothing good can come of it. From the atrocious 1993 Super Mario Brothers to any trainwreck made by hack extraordinaire Uwe Boll, video game fans and casual moviegoers alike pretty much expect to be disappointed when they walk into the theater, as any such adaptation is certainly ill-advised.

However, on the flip side, have you ever seen a certain movie and thought to yourself, "Damn, this would be one kick-ass video game"? I know I have, and while there have been many such adaptations (either concurrent with the film's release, or years after the fact), some films have been left out for some inexplicable reason. Here are ten great movies that I wouldn't mind reenacting on my Xbox:

KILL BILL

While the only Tarantino film to be made into a game was the poorly-made 2006 adaptation of 1992's Reservoir Dogs, it's certainly surprising that there was no digital version of QT's 2003/2004 martial arts/spaghetti western-homage extravaganza Kill Bill. From her harsh training under kung fu master Pai Mei and various possible assassin missions before Bill's betrayal, to her escaping the hospital in Texas and facing the Crazy 88 gang, this bloody, rip-roaring tale of revenge would certainly earn its "M" rating.

DISTRICT 9

This sci-fi sleeper hit of 2009 surprised critics and filmgoers for its cerebral tone and sociopolitical subtext, but it certainly didn't skimp on action and spectacle. The player would portray South African government operative-turned-fugitive Wikus van der Merwe, a human slowly turning into one of the aliens that he helped persecute, desperately search for a cure for his malady. The first third of the game would have Wikus rely on stealth and his wits in the dangerous Johannesburg slums, but as his alien side takes over, the following two thirds would allow the player access to badass alien weaponry and mech battlesuits, fighting MNU operatives, Nigerian mercenaries, and even rogue alien prawns.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

Why the hell not? Any game based on the stoner action-comedy starring Seth Rogen and James Franco would be an absolute hoot to play. Playing as either slacker process server Dale Denton or high-as-a-kite pot dealer Saul Silver, the player must go on the run, battling evil drug lords, Asian gangsters, and crooked cops. Of course, the tone of the game would be as light-hearted and madcap as the film, and instead of power-ups in the form of hearts, it'd be bags of weed! Genius.

CADDYSHACK

To hell with Tiger Woods PGA Tour, this would be the ULTIMATE golfing game (and it'd actually be exciting to play). You'd be allowed to choose between playing playboy golfer Ty Webb, young caddy Danny Noonan, stuffy Judge Smails, and flamboyant Al Czervik (with Bill Murray's Carl Spackler as an unlockable character) in an 18-hole career mode, supplemented by random gopher appearances, foul language, explosions, and Kenny Loggins music.

EQUILIBRIUM

Why there hasn't been a video game based on the vastly underrated Christian Bale sci-fi thriller is beyond me. As a former law enforcement officer of a dystopian and oppressive society that outlaws and suppresses emotion, the highly efficient John Preston must aid an underground resistance movement to battle the totalitarian government he formerly worked for. This game would be martial arts nirvana, especially with the fictional "Gun Kata" fighting style made for the film.

SIN CITY

The stylish neo-noir action film based on the graphic novel series by Frank Miller turned a lot of heads for its highly stylized visuals and gritty atmosphere, and rightfully so. So just imagine a Grand Theft Auto-style action game mixed with film noir trappings, where the player would control three characters: honest cop John Hartigan, brute-with-a-heart-of-gold Marv, and mysterious killer Dwight McCarthy as they traverse through the dangerous and dark 'burg of Basin City. Add the film's monochromatic color scheme, and the rest writes itself.

THIS IS SPINAL TAP

Forget Guitar Hero. Screw Rock Band. The only music game you'd need is one starring the greatest British rock group that you've never heard of. The game, based on the classic mockumentary, would utilize the same basic gameplay engine of the two aforementioned rhythm games, only adding flourishes that would be appropriate to the movie's style, such as challenge modes where you'd have to play while under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs, minigames where the player would have to find their way around the backstage area in time for a show, and a playlist including the Tap's greatest hits, such as "Big Bottom", "Break Like the Wind", and "Lick My Love Pump".

DEATH RACE 2000

This game based on the David Carradine/Sly Stallone cult hit would have a simple premise: drive as fast as you can, and hit as many pedestrians as you can. Sure, it'd be sadistic and gratuitous, but it'd be fun as hell, right?

ARMY OF DARKNESS

While there have been quite a few video games based on the Evil Dead franchise in general, there's never been a true adaptation of the third entry in the classic screwball comedy-horror trilogy. Thrown back in time to Medieval England, chainsaw-armed supermarket clerk Ash woos the pretty ladies, yells at peasants, and vanquishes evil Deadite zombies with a variety of weapons and his Oldsmobile Delta. Throw in the voice of the great Bruce Campbell. Any questions?

BOOGIE NIGHTS

Uh... use your imagination.

Review: "IRON MAN 2"

If there's one aspect of superhero movies that can get tiring or even annoying, it's the fact that said heroes are always suffering from angst and emotional suffering. Whether it's the persecuted mutants of the X-Men, the vengeance-minded Batman and Punisher, the guilt- and responsibility-ridden Spider-Man, or the dysfunctional family of the Fantastic Four, these heroes are always saddled with grief and mopey dispositions. You never see them truly happy or even stoked that they possess such awesome powers, gadgets, or abilities.

So it truly was a breath of fresh air when Iron Man blasted into theaters in 2008. Helmed by actor-director Jon Favreau (Elf, Zathura) and the first of Marvel Studios' line of independently-produced films, Iron Man not only reinvigorated a then-sagging film genre, but also singlehandedly revived the career of one Robert Downey Jr. Once practically blacklisted by the Hollywood community for his troubled personal life, the highly talented actor proved all naysayers wrong when he took the role of billionaire, playboy industrialist Tony Stark.

Downey's magnetic, snarky, and charismatic performance was a key factor in the film's massive success, both critically and commercially ($318 million at the domestic box office). It also cemented his official comeback, where he followed up with a riotous, Oscar-nominated turn in Tropic Thunder, a key dramatic role in The Soloist, and a wonderful reinvention of Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional detective in last winter's Sherlock Holmes.

But if anything was a major reason for Iron Man's successful emotional connect with moviegoers, it was that instead of moping around his snazzy Malibu pad and whining about having to live with a electromagnetic heart that powers his badass flying suit of armor, the middle-aged Stark reveled in his new and unique situtation, balancing his do-gooder superhero duties with an almost childlike sense of fun and glee.

So of course, as with any successful superhero franchise, a sequel was inevitable, and while (almost expectedly) Favreau and new screenwriter Justin Theroux couldn't capture the magic that made the first film so wonderfully engaging, Iron Man 2 still holds up thanks to the supercharged performance of its lead actor.

Six months after revealing to the world that he is indeed the armored hero Iron Man, Tony Stark has been on top of the world, basking in his personal and professional fame and glory, and has been highly responsible for the unprecedented and uninterrupted period of peace around the world. His loyal assistant and confidant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) has been promoted to CEO of Stark Enterprises, allowing Tony (ever the womanizer) to hire the comely and somewhat enigmatic Natalie (Scarlett Johansson) as his new assistant.

However, not everyone is happy about Tony's unofficial and unsanctioned role as a freelance peacekeeper, especially U.S. Senator Stern (a wonderfully slimy Garry Shandling), who's demanding Stark to turn the Iron Man armor over to the American government, not to mention the efforts of the government's new arms contractor Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell), who's itching to undermine Stark's reputation. Stark's cavalier attitude and somewhat reckless use of the Iron Man suit even causes concern for his best friend, Lt. Col. James Rhodes (Don Cheadle, replacing Terrence Howard from the last film).

There's also the problem of one Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke), a Russian physicist who blames the Stark legacy for the downfall of Vanko's father. Vowing revenge, Vanko creates his own modified armor, complete with electrified whips, and plots to kill Stark for his apparent transgressions.

When his personal and public lives begin to unravel when having to contend with Vanko, Hammer, and the government's pressure, Tony must also race to find a replacement for his electromagnetic heart, which is slowly killing him. Oh, and a guy by the name of Colonel Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) wants Iron Man to join an elite program called "the Avenger Initiative".

That a big enough plot for you? The most glaring and pressing problem Iron Man 2 has is the overabundance of supporting characters (both old and new), multiple subplots, and only a two-hour runtime to support it all. Sure, the first film took care of all of the origins and introductory exposition, but scribe Theroux (who co-scripted Tropic Thunder) clearly didn't learn from the mistakes of Spider-Man 3's screenwriters.

In fact, it suffers from TOO much exposition, and the tone of the film veers wildly from dramatic, action-packed, and comedic, the latter of which is present the most, and is sometimes even oppressive in its presence.

Surprisingly, there's also too little action in the film. The audience certainly does get its money's worth in the action setpieces (the film's best piece being a spectacular showdown between Vanko and Stark on a Grand Prix race track in Monaco), but for a film called Iron Man 2, the slam-bang fight scenes and robotic smackdowns are few and far in between (not to mention an almost insultingly quick climactic final battle between hero and villain), and it would've been nice to have seen Iron Man as much as we see Tony Stark.

But seeing Stark isn't really a bad thing, as once again, Downey Jr. is a blast to watch as the egotistical industrialist. Like in the first movie, Downey served as the heart and soul of the proceedings, and is at the top of his game here. Despite his smarmy and arrogant facade (which is amplified tenfold by a new drinking problem), we empathize with his inner demons and fears, including his plight with possibly dying young, and his still-present anger at his deceased father Howard (seen in archival footage played by John Slattery). Downey's Stark is an intriguing and engaging character, and a pure delight whenever he's onscreen.

In fact, if anything can garner Iron Man 2 a strong recommendation, it's the casting as a whole. Once again, Stark has terrific camaraderie with Paltrow as his Gal Friday and new CEO, what with their overlapping, Altmanesque dialogue and building sexual tension. Cheadle actually does a better job than Terrence Howard as Stark's best buddy and former military liasion, whose frustration with Tony's irresponsibility boils over in a both funny and deadly serious armored slugfest with a drunken Stark-as-Iron Man.

Rourke, hot off his own Hollywood comeback, is great and appropriately menacing as a heavily tattooed and venomously vengeful Russkie. Outfitted with an almost S&M-style armored harness, and wielding some kick-ass electric whips, Vanko is a symbolic and efficient antithesis to Stark. But props definitely should go to the always-entertaining Rockwell as a cowardly weasel of an arms dealer. His Hammer character is absolutely hilarious, and steals every scene he's in. As the director of the espionage agency known as S.H.I.E.L.D., Jackson's role as Nick Fury is merely an extended cameo, and Johansson doesn't have much to do as the sexy Natalie Rushman/Romanoff (who curiously lacks the Russian accent her comic book counterpart possesses) besides look hot as hell and have one cool action sequence.

It's shame that much of the spark that made the first Iron Man so great is gone here. Favreau clearly fell victim to the "bigger is better" mantra, and while the original's story, characters, and action clicked with amazing precision, this outing at times feels clunky, uneven, and rushed. There are plenty of Easter eggs and hints towards Marvel Studios' future releases (like the first Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, and next year's Thor and Captain America, this film is another piece of the puzzle for 2012's eventual all-star Avengers film), and there are plenty of things to keep fanboys and fangirls rightfully giddy here, such as the introduction of Rhodes as War Machine, an Iron Man tricked out to the hilt with seemingly dozens of weapons (and to be honest, this fanboy thought it was pretty damn cool).

But despite the occasional lack of cohesion, Iron Man 2 still manages to entertain and delight, thanks to a terrific, funny, and effortlessly cool lead performance by Downey and eye-popping special effects wizardry. It may not be The Dark Knight or Spider-Man 2, but it sure as hell ain't no Batman and Robin or Spider-Man 3. Depending on the success of the Avengers franchise, here's hoping the inevitable Part Three learns from Part Two's mistakes.

Letter Grade: "B-"