The Top Tens of 2011

Once again, it's that time of the year when Hollywood's biggest and brightest applaud each other in what amounts to a red-carpet circle jerk. But there's no denying that there have been some truly terrific performances (both in front of the camera and behind it). In a year of sequels, superheroes, vampires, robots, and Michael Fassbender's penis, 2011 turned out to be quite a year for cinema. So, for your reading pleasure, here's my entirely biased list of what was great in theaters (and what wasn't).

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE OF 2011

1. Michael Fassbender as "Brandon Sullivan" in Shame
2. Jean Dujardin as "George Valentin" in The Artist
3. Andy Serkis as "Caesar" in Rise of the Planet of the Apes
4. Brad Pitt as "Mr. O'Brien" in The Tree of Life
5. Albert Brooks as "Bernie Rose" in Drive
6. Christopher Plummer as "Hal" in Beginners
7. Joseph Gordon-Levitt as "Adam Lerner" in 50/50
8. Kōji Yakusho as "Shimada Shinzaemon" in 13 Assassins
9. Patton Oswalt as "Matt Freehauf" in Young Adult
10. Ben Kingsley as "Georges Méliès" in Hugo

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE OF 2011

1. Bérénice Bejo as "Peppy Miller" in The Artist
2. Jessica Chastain as "Mrs. O'Brien" in The Tree of Life
3. Carey Mulligan as "Sissy Sullivan" in Shame
4. Charlize Theron as "Mavis Gary" in Young Adult
5. Melissa McCarthy as "Megan" in Bridesmaids
6. Rooney Mara as "Lisbeth Salander" in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
7. Marion Cotillard as "Adriana" in Midnight in Paris
8. Chloe Grace Moretz as "Isabelle" in Hugo
9. Elizabeth Olsen as "Martha" in Martha Marcy May Marlene
10. Kristen Wiig as "Annie Walker" in Bridesmaids

WORST PERFORMANCES OF 2011

1. January Jones as "Emma Frost/The White Queen" in X-Men: First Class
2. Blake Lively as "Carol Ferris" in Green Lantern
3. Jay Chou as "Kato" in The Green Hornet
4. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as "Carly Spencer" in Transformers: Dark of the Moon
5. Richard Gere as "Paul Shepherdson" in The Double
6. Peter Sarsgaard as "Hector Hammond" in Green Lantern
7. Christoph Waltz as "Chudnofsky" in The Green Hornet
8. Freida Pinto as "Caroline Arahna" in Rise of the Planet of the Apes
9. Laurence R. Harvey as "Martin" in The Human Centipede II: Full Sequence
10. Lucas Till as "Alex Summers/Havok" in X-Men: First Class

FUNNIEST PERFORMANCES OF 2011

1. Melissa McCarthy as "Megan" in Bridesmaids
2. Charlie Day as "Dale Arbus" in Horrible Bosses
3. Kevin Spacey as "Dave Harken" in Horrible Bosses
4. Robert Downey, Jr. as "Sherlock Holmes" in Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
5. Seth Rogen as "Kyle" in 50/50
6. Kristen Wiig as "Annie Walker" in Bridesmaids
7. Neil Patrick Harris as "Himself" in A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D
8. Seth Rogen as the voice of "Paul" in Paul
9. David Tennant as "Peter Vincent" in Fright Night
10. Chris Cooper as "Tex Richman" in The Muppets
 
BEST CAMEOS OF 2011 (spoiler alert!)

1. Hugh Jackman as "Logan/Wolverine" in X-Men: First Class
2. Jack Black as "Himself" in The Muppets
3. Jamie Foxx as "Motherfucker Jones" in Horrible Bosses
4. Neil Patrick Harris as "Himself" in A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D
5. Jim Parsons as "Human Walter" in The Muppets
6. Samuel L. Jackson as "Nick Fury" in Captain America: The First Avenger
7. Bob Newhart as "Louis Sherman" in Horrible Bosses
8. Zach Galifianakis as "Hobo Joe" in The Muppets
9. Martin Scorsese as "Photographer" in Hugo
10. Stan Lee as "General" in Captain America: The First Avenger

BEST ENSEMBLE CAST OF 2011

Bridesmaids (Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Ellie Kemper, Jon Hamm, Chris O'Dowd)

BREAKOUT STARS OF 2011

1. Michael Fassbender (Jane Eyre, X-Men: First Class, A Dangerous Method, Shame)
2. Jessica Chastain (The Tree of Life, The Help, Take Shelter)
3. Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids)
4. Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)
5. Chris Hemsworth (Thor)
6. Tom Hiddleston (Thor, Midnight in Paris, War Horse)
7. Octavia Spencer (The Help)
8. John Boyega (Attack the Block)
9. Joel Courtney (Super 8)
10. Corey Stoll (Midnight in Paris)

BEST DIRECTORS OF 2011

1. Steve McQueen (Shame)
2. Martin Scorsese (Hugo)
3. Michel Hazanavicius (The Artist)
4. Woody Allen (Midnight in Paris)
5. Takashi Miike (13 Assassins)
6. Terrence Malick (The Tree of Life)
7. Bennett Miller (Moneyball)
8. Nicolas Winding Refn (Drive)
9. J.J. Abrams (Super 8)
10. David Yates (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II)

BEST MUSICAL SCORES OF 2011

1. Ludovic Bource (The Artist)
2. Cliff Martinez (Drive)
3. Howard Shore (Hugo)
4. Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)
5. Alexandre Desplat (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II)
6. Michael Giacchino (Super 8)
7. Mychael Danna (Moneyball)
8. Alexandre Desplat (The Ides of March)
9. Alan Silvestri (Captain America: The First Avenger)
10. Hans Zimmer (Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows)

BEST ACTION/FIGHT SEQUENCES OF 2011

1. The entire second half of the movie (13 Assassins)
2. The Train Crash (Super 8)
3. The Battle of Hogwarts (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II)
4. The Elevator Fight (Drive)
5. Golden Gate Bridge showdown (Rise of the Planet of the Apes)
6. Harry vs. Voldemort (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II)
7. The Final Showdown (Attack the Block)
8. Thor vs. the Frost Giants (Thor)
9. Howling Commandos montage (Captain America: The First Avenger)
10. The Forest Chase (Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows)

WORST FILMS OF 2011

1. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
2. The Human Centipede II: Full Sequence
3. The Hangover Part II
4. The Double
5. No Strings Attached
6. Dylan Dog: Dead of Night
7. Drive Angry
8. Green Lantern
9. Cowboys and Aliens
10. The Green Hornet

BEST FILMS OF 2011

1. 13 Assassins- Just like the classic jidaigeki films of master filmmaker Akira Kurosawa, Takashi Miike's 13 Assassins is a samurai movie of the highest regard: brutal, majestic, disciplined, intelligently crafted, and unrelenting in its intensity. Starting out slowly and patiently, the film's tension grows like a crescendo in a symphony, until it explodes in a climax of magnificent savagery and heartstopping spectacle. 13 Assassins brings an abundance of honor to its predecessors, and sets a new standard for not only its genre, but all films in general.
2. Shame- Michael Fassbender's fearless and devastating performance as a yuppie suffering from sex addiction is the nucleus for director Steve McQueen's bleak, heartbreaking, yet utterly magnetic drama, where we fall witness to man's downward spiral into physical, mental, and emotional self-destruction. Shame not only serves as powerful drama, but a mirror for the viewer to observe their own addictive tendencies and whether or not they're allowing their vices to slowly chip away at their own humanity.
3. The Artist- A joyful, intimate homage to the beauty and grace of cinema's silent era, The Artist marvelously replicates not only the technical aspects of that golden age, but also the earnest, romantic sense of glamour and showmanship made possible without the use of sound. Director Michel Hazanavicius crafts his film with the utmost respect for silent movies and their eternal allure, all while making the film his own.
4. The Muppets- Jim Henson's timeless creations couldn't have made their return to the big screen any sooner, and what a grand return it is. Nostalgic yet timely, hilarious yet tenderhearted, and chockablock with clever humor and a pathos that only puppets made of felt could radiate with such believability.
5. Hugo- A pitch-perfect primer for those interested in the earliest years of film history, Hugo is yet another flawless notch in director Martin Scorsese's belt: a finely crafted and meticulous love letter to the magic of cinema, reminding us that we all have a purpose in life, no matter how broken we might seem to be.
6. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II- A decade after the first masterful adaptation of J.K. Rowling's hugely successfully boy-wizard book series was committed to screen, we've finally come to the end with a powerful, exhilarating, and bittersweet coda to one of the best film franchises in history after watching Harry and his friends literally grow up before our eyes.
7. Midnight in Paris- A lighthearted and witty tour of the ever-magical city of Paris, Midnight in Paris is Woody Allen's finest film in years, a superbly executed examination of both modernism and nostalgia, with a whimsical heart reminiscent of his older love letters to New York.
8. Drive- A jarring pastiche of the great crime films of various eras, Nicolas Winding Refn's meditative heist film is a rare juxtaposition of quiet introspection and brutal violence, harkening back to the days of '50s-era noir, '70s-era grittiness, '80s-era flashiness, and '90s-era postmodernism. It also taught us to takes the stairs instead of elevators.
9. Moneyball- A unconventional sports movie where the actual focus is on the business side of the game, Moneyball is buoyed by a fabulous script by Aaron Sorkin and Steve Zaillian and a celebration of not only the underdog, but also those who overcome past disappointments by never giving up.
10. Super 8- Taking a cue from the early works of Steven Spielberg, director J.J. Abrams crafts an alien vistor film with a warmth and sense of realism that only an extremely talented cadre of child actors can bring about. With a terrific cast with brilliant camaraderie, amazing special effects, and a train crash scene to top all train crash scenes, Super 8 celebrates the wonders of filmmaking, the sanctuary it can bring, and the power of true friendship in trying times.
(Runners-up: The Tree of Life; 50/50; Captain America: The First Avenger)

FILMS WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2012

1. The Avengers
2. The Dark Knight Rises
3. Django Unchained
4. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
5. Prometheus
6. The Amazing Spider-Man
7. The Raid
8. The Great Gatsby
9. Brave
10. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Review: "GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE"

There's probably not a bigger or more prolific actor whose acting style and filmography has me on the fence more than Nicolas Cage.

On one hand, his body of work couldn't be more diverse and eclectic. Genuinely talented and possessing ample range that spans various genres, Cage has always managed to make most (if not all) of his roles memorable, even if it wasn't for the right reasons. Some of his best work involved him believably drowning inside the neuroses of his characters, from his Oscar-winning role as a suicidal alcoholic in Leaving Las Vegas and his dual role as screenwriting twins in Adaptation., to his portrayal of an obsessive-compulsive con man in Matchstick Men and his balls-off-the-wall aneurysm of a role as a corrupt cop in Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. Cage becomes so committed to whatever role he takes on that it borders on absolute fearlessness.

But on the the other hand, that fearlessness has made him somewhat of a laughingstock in recent years amongst critics. Many of his most recent cinematic outings have been big-budget actioners low on brains, ultimately relying on Cage's penchant for bizarre madness or quirky line delivery. Stinkers like Knowing, Season of the Witch, The Wicker Man, Drive Angry, and Bangkok Dangerous have caused detractors to label Cage a mere "paycheck actor" who's complacent with sleepwalking through bland roles rather than taking on more challenging dramatic parts.

The same went for his role in 2007's supernatural comic book adaptation Ghost Rider, which, while somewhat successful commercially, once again was dependent on Cage's lunacy rather than taking the initiative to create a good story. But alas, the Hollywood gods decided that a sequel was in order, and Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance delivers more of the schizophrenic same... though it's tough to determine now if that's a good or bad thing.

After making an ill-advised deal with the Devil (Ciaran Hinds) to save his father's life, stunt motorcyclist Johnny Blaze's (Nicola Cage) soul was bound to a demon, which transformed Cage into a fiery-skulled, supernatural bounty hunter known as the Ghost Rider whenever he was in the presence of evil. Spiteful of his cursed alter ego, Blaze secludes himself to Eastern Europe, where he tries to keep the Rider in check.

That solitude doesn't last for long, however, when French monk Moreau (Idris Elba) offers Blaze a chance to rid himself of his curse, on one condition. It turns out the Devil is in search of his son Danny (Fergus Riordan), whose mother Nadya (Violante Placido) made a deal with the Devil twelve years earlier to save her life, only if she bore the demon's son. Now the boy's 13th birthday is approaching, a day that the Devil plans to transfer his essence into Danny's body and remain young forever.

With the Devil's hired gun Carrigan (Johnny Whitworth), among others, on Nadya's tail, Blaze agrees to protect Danny and hold back the Devil's forces, only so he can be rid of his own curse once and for all.

First, some disclosure: I've always been a fan of Marvel's Ghost Rider character. Although I haven't consumed his comic book stories with the same intensity that I did for, say, Spider-Man or the Fantastic Four, I've always liked how the character's origin, powers, and even appearance defied the conventional standards that most heroes stuck to. After all, when the character first appeared in 1973, you couldn't really think of many funny-book characters with a "biker-from-hell" motif whose head was, of all things, a skull on fire.

Thus, when I saw the original Ghost Rider flick directed by Mark Steven Johnson, I was unimpressed. For starters, it was PG-13, a safety move on the studios' part that was in direct contrast to the brutal, dark tone that a movie based on Ghost Rider should've had. Even though it had its fair share of violence and spooky visuals, it was no scarier or off-the-wall than your everyday teen horror flick. Second, the story felt uninspired and pedestrian, not breaking any ground or giving us reason to care about what was happening. Finally, the lead performance by Cage surprisingly lacked the nuttiness that we've grown accustomed to, and aside from his Blaze doing "quirky" things like eating jelly beans from a martini glass or listening to the Carpenters, his performance fell flat.

This must've been a bone of contention as well for the sequel's incoming director team of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor (who both helmed the adrenaline-packed Crank films), because they've clearly told Cage to turn his crazy up several dozen notches. Usually, when Cage's characters are mentally unhinged, the filmmakers try to justify it with an external/internal stimuli (in Bad Lieutenant, it was drug addiction; in Face/Off, it was because he had John Travolta's face on his head). Here, Neveldine/Taylor would like you to believe that Johnny Blaze is going loopy because of the demon inside of him, but naaaaahhh, it's just Nic Cage once again overwhelming a movie with his oddball tendencies.

But the other part of me just can't get enough of it! It's as if Cage's bug-eyed, spastic, "a man possessed" persona (an acting method he's gone on record as calling "Nouveau Shamanic") is a drug of sorts, a demented hurricane that you just can't pry your eyes away from. Nevermind the one-dimensional performances from the rest of the cast (including the usually terrific Idris Elba), the uneven storyline and tone (it goes back and forth between cheesy B-movie and serious drama), or the seeming lack of continuity from the first film or the comics. But in the end, let's not kid ourselves. Movies as earnestly off-the-wall as this don't aspire for Oscar greatness. You're here for the Cage, and for the Cage only.

The psychotic special effects (the best including a climactic motorcycle/car chase) and hyperactive editing only amplifies Cage's manic Red Bull of a performance. Is this just one big joke, and only he's in on it? It's clear that he's having the time of his life, regardless of how good or bad the final product turns out to be. But it's this B-movie style insanity that makes this a far more interesting experience than the previous film. It's unfortunate that Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance didn't attempt to pay more tribute to the original comics, go for R-rated mayhem like it should have, or stick to one consistent style of tone, but I will admit that as a source of pure adrenaline, goofy humor (including a bit involving a Twinkie that made me chuckle, or that part where the Rider pisses fire...yes, that's right), and Nic Cage at his unhinged zenith, Spirit of Vengeance is a carnival ride that may not be the most sophisticated, but still a guilty-pleasure ride nonetheless.

Letter Grade: "C"

Review: "THE ARTIST"

Back in the day when I was a film major with hopes of becoming the next Scorcese or Spielberg, I was primed on the history of cinema with a battery of movie showings from the industry's infancy: from the experimental shorts and nickelodeons of Edison and Méliès to the dawn of the full-length feature, I was dazzled by the amazing innovations churned out by our first filmmakers in a surprising manner of only a couple decades.

My favorite part of those classes, however, was when we got to watch entries from the filmographies of two of my favorite film actors ever: Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton. Both men were pioneers in various facets of the industry, and their ability to convey pure emotion through only body language and facial expressions (without the need of dialogue) cemented their legacies as true Hollywood icons.

It made me all the more resentful that movies released in my lifetime didn't take chances and emulate the silent era's power to move mountains without the need for words (the closest we got was probably the brilliant first third of Pixar's WALL-E). It's my pleasure, then, to say that Hollywood finally took that gamble with French director Michel Hazanavicius' joyful and terrific homage to silent films, The Artist.

It's 1927, and George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) is arguably the biggest film star in Hollywood. Known for his charming, roguish persona and his Jack Russell terrier who appears in many of his films, Valentin has always been a bankable star, much to the delight of his Kinograph Studios boss Al Zimmer (John Goodman), and the chagrin of George's unhappy wife Doris (Penelope Ann Miller).

After the premiere of his latest movie, as he's posing for his adoring crowd, George literally bumps into aspiring actress Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo). After signing her an autograph and posing with her for press photographers (which becomes speculative romantic fodder for the tabloids the next day), George manages to get Peppy a job as an extra in his new film.

But times start getting tough for George. A couple years later, Zimmer introduces George to the new technology of the "talkies", which George laughs off as a fad. But this fad grows into a full-blown revolution, with George's career dwindling, while, at the same time, Peppy climbs the ladder to Hollywood superstardom. As the years pass by and the economy is bludgeoned by the Great Depression, George must reevaluate his career and contend with the changing times his beloved industry faces.

I can honestly say that I felt a rush of nostalgia watching The Artist, which is impossible seeing how the films it emulates existed more than six decades before my birth. But everything about The Artist is just right: from the bombastic, sweeping, Steiner-esque score by Ludovic Bource and the gorgeous period costuming and set design, to the era-appropriate 1.33:1 aspect ratio and the intertitle cards which stood in for dialogue.

But even those intertitles are surprisingly few and far inbetween, as it's clear that Hazanavicius' stellar cast doesn't need dialogue (spoken or no) to tell a beautiful story. Dujardin, with charismatic shades of Clark Gable, is wonderful as the dashing leading man facing a personal and professional downward spiral, doomed to become obsolete when he learns that audiences aren't interested in simple "mugging" for the camera.

Supplementing Dujardin's charisma is an absolutely radiant Bejo as the rising star whose career trajectory is in direct contrast with George's. With a glistening smile and a spunky attitude not unlike the many female stars of the silent era, Bejo is a revelation. The rest of the cast, though clearly overshadowed by the leads, give it their all, including the great John Goodman as the requisite cigar-chomping studio head, James Cromwell as George's trusted driver, and even the dog playing George's terrier is a showstopper in his own right.

The filmmakers would be right to worry about this generation's attention span being at odds with being able to sit through a silent film (with only a smattering of sound effects and audible lines, only used in the right places), but as a card-carrying member of the YouTube generation, I can easily say that with a terrific screenplay, loving direction, and a standout cast, The Artist is not only one of the best films of 2011, but a pleasant reminder that Hollywood still has plenty of respect and admiration for its golden years.

Letter Grade: "A"

Review: "COWBOYS & ALIENS"

Even though it might not seem like it on the surface, the genres of science-fiction and the western have a lot in common. In fact, previous depictions of both the Wild West and the fictionalized colonization of deep space could even be considered similar on a thematic and philosophical level: the exploration of new frontiers; the development/intrusion of new technology and discovery of primitive (or not-so-primitive) civilizations; and a general sense of lawlessness where it's every man for himself.

It's striking similarities like these that have resulted in surprisingly successful marriages of the two genres in pop culture. Gene Roddenberry pitched the concept of "Star Trek" to NBC as "a Wagon Train to the stars". The original Star Wars possessed a distinguishing "used galaxy" feel of that screamed "western", with its rogue gunslingers and saloon-esque cantinas. And the television series "Firefly" (and its movie follow-up Serenity) took it even a step further by transposing post-Civil War settings of many Westerns onto its own mythos via similar dialogue, costuming, and even weaponry.

But what made the above examples work so well was the fact that they didn't actually ATTEMPT to be both sci-fi AND western. The films and shows were still predominantly science-fiction, and any western-esque trappings layered upon the movie were subtle enough as to not make you wonder if the film you're watching was directed by John Ford or George Lucas. But director Jon Favreau (Iron Man) clearly didn't get that memo, and as such, his awkward mash-up of the two genres make Cowboys & Aliens a bizarre, distracting, and overall less-than-engaging affair.

It's 1873, and a man (Daniel Craig) awakens in the Arizona desert with no memory of who he is or how he got there, and on top of that, he has both a large wound on his side and a strange metal bracelet attached to his wrist. Heading off to the small settlement of Absolution, the injured man is treated by the local preacher and doctor Meacham (Clancy Brown). The stranger learns quick that Absolution isn't the happiest place in the world, thanks to the influence of wealthy and aggressive cattleman Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), whose delinquent son Percy (Paul Dano) regularly causes trouble in Absolution without any punishment.

That is, until the amnesiac man subdues Percy and causes the boy to be arrested by Sheriff Taggart (Keith Carradine). Taggart is suspicious of this stranger, and soon recognizes him as outlaw Jake Lonergan, who's been wanted, among other things, for stealing gold from the elder Dolarhyde. Jake, adamant that he remembers nothing, is captured and about to be sent off to the Feds when strange ships in the sky begin attacking Absolution and abducting various townspeople, including Taggart and Percy. Jake manages to down one of the alien craft when his strange bracelet suddenly fires a blast of energy at it.

With the pilot of the downed craft on the run, Dolarhyde forms a posse to track it down and find the abducted townspeople. Joining him are his Native American right hand man Nat (Adam Beach), Meacham, Taggart's grandson Emmett (Noah Ringer), saloon owner Doc (Sam Rockwell), and a reluctant Jake, as well as the mysterious Ella (Olivia Wilde), who seems to know more about Jake's predicament than she's letting on.

Based on a 2006 graphic novel by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg, Cowboys & Aliens seemed cool on paper. After all, the two titular characters are classic imaginative bait for the 8-year-old boys in all of us, and really, haven't you always wanted to see... well, cowboys fighting aliens?!

It seems as though Favreau did, and at first, that seemed like a good thing. The actor/director has had a short but reliable track record for sci-fi films with plenty of childlike enthusiasm, with the space fantasy Zathura and the excellent Iron Man (and its not-as-excellent-but-servicable sequel). But Favreau made a huge misstep by making the endeavor WAY too serious and not capitalizing on the inherent goofiness of such a high concept premise.

And in its foolhardy attempt at seriousness, Cowboys & Aliens strays from the correct path of joy and purposeful silliness to superficiality and unintentional silliness. And Favreau and his team of five (yes, FIVE) screenwriters seem to be interested in throwing classic, by-the-numbers Western cliches at you rather than steeping the film in the mythology that made the genre so venerable. You could almost write a checklist of expected genre staples on display, all of which amount to cinematic posing that's as hollow as the sets the movie were filmed on (not to mention a slightly uncomfortable allegorical comparison of the besieged townspeople to real-life American Indians in terms of being assailed by superior technology. In a movie with a plot as ridiculous and ill-conceived as this, it's best to leave the racial and political commentary to the wayside).

The cast doesn't really salvage the proceedings much, either. Daniel Craig (this year's Oscar nominee for Best Glowering) goes overboard with the super-serious "Man With No Name or Memory" schtick, his eyebrows permanently furrowed and his frown suggesting Botox gone berserk. Harrison Ford continues the snarly-old-man routine that he's seemed to resign himself to in this latter part of his career, and Olivia Wilde (a.k.a. "that hot chick from Tron Legacy") apparently seems to be winning a "who can open their eyes the widest and longest" contest possibly instigated by the filmmakers. It's even more damning to the film's cred when you can't even get a memorable performance out of the usually fantastic Sam Rockwell, who's relegated to the less-than-admirable role of a chickenshit barkeep.

The visual effects and sound design, however, are top notch, even if the design of the alien invaders are less than revolutionary and merely perfunctory. The cinematography by Matthew Libatique proves once again that Westerns (even subpar ones such as this) are always the best-looking and most eerily beautiful of all the genres, but gimmickry such as this can only take you so far. Cowboys & Aliens attempts to walk in the majestic footsteps of Ford, Leone, and Eastwood and fails in almost every respect.

That's not to say that Favreau and Co. didn't try, and their intentions are admirable. But in the end, this marriage of genres got cut short with a messy divorce. Cowboys & Aliens? Try Oil & Water.

Letter Grade: "C-"

Review: "THE HANGOVER PART II"

Sequels have always been a risky business in Hollywood. Let's get one thing straight: the primary reasoning for producing sequels has and always will be the allure of big box-office green. Regardless of whether or not the original was good or bad, if it made bank, producers leap at the opportunity for even bigger bucks.

But therein lies the problem: if it's almost a surefire bet that fans of the original will flock back, will it matter if the sequel's any good? Sure, some filmmakers have made a concerted effort to make their Part Twos (or in rarer cases, Part Threes) bigger, better, and artistically superior to the original in every which way (The Godfather Part II, The Dark Knight, The Empire Strikes Back, to name a few). But unfortunately, most follow-ups pale in comparison to their predecessors, with the studios only throwing in a few novelties and surprises in a lazy attempt to "spice things up" (every single horror sequel that isn't Evil Dead).

And then there are those movies that are SO lazy and sure of their success that they don't even attempt to create a new story at all. Imagine a complete carbon copy of a movie, maybe with a change of scenery and a couple new characters here and there, but with the exact same story structure, twists, and overall formula. Now imagine this sequel to be a follow-up to a movie so clever, original, and cathartic that you wouldn't believe in a million years that the filmmakers wouldn't have at least SOME tricks up their sleeves for the next installment. That movie, my friends, is The Hangover Part II.

It's been a couple years since four friends-- schoolteacher Phil Wenneck (Bradley Cooper), dentist Stu Price (Ed Helms), groom-to-be Doug Billings (Justin Bartha), and his bizarre manchild of a future brother-in-law Alan Garner (Zach Galifianakis)-- survived a drug-and-booze fueled bachelor party  and hangover in Las Vegas, where (among other things), Doug went missing; Stu lost a tooth and briefly married a stripper; the group kidnapped boxer Mike Tyson's pet tiger; and Alan, Phil, and Stu were caught in the crosshairs of Asian gangster Leslie Chow (Ken Jeong).

Despite all their problems being resolved and Doug getting married, the incident left a rather bad impression on Stu. His impending nuptials to his fiancee Lauren (Jamie Chung) are taking place in her family's home country of Thailand, and though he's invited Phil and Doug to the ceremony, he's reluctant to take Alan along since he was the cause of the escapades in Vegas. But Stu hesitantly agrees to take him with, and the four set out for Thailand along with Jamie's younger brother Teddy (Mason Lee).

The night before the wedding, the guys (at Stu's reluctance) secretly take Teddy out for a night on the town. But the morning after, Stu, Phil, and Alan wake up in a strange Bangkok hotel room, with no idea how they got there. While Doug remained at the wedding resort, the trio have no idea where Teddy's gone. With a severed finger, a drug-peddling monkey, and a fresh new tattoo on Stu's face in the mix, the guys race against the clock to figure out what happened and track down Teddy in the bustling city before the wedding.

When the first Hangover was released in the summer of 2009, it was considered by many (including yours truly) to be a breath of fresh comedic air: a raucous, side-splittingly funny anarchic comedy featuring a trio of terrific lead performances, instantly quotable scenes and sight gags, and an overall aura of nonstop, Animal House-style gross-out fun that seems oh-so-rare in most "humorous" movies nowadays. Budgeted at a mere $35 million, it went on to become not only a critical hit, but also the highest-grossing R-rated comedy in history ($467 million worldwide, to be exact).

And obviously, that's where director Todd Phillips saw opportunity, and fast-tracked a sequel. And he brought back the whole gang, reuniting Cooper, Helms, Galifianakis, and even decided on an exotic change in locale for the "Wolfpack's" latest adventure. The only problem? Nothing's changed. Seriously, nothing has changed.

Even though we're in the streets of Bangkok instead of Vegas, Part II is the exact same movie as the original. There's the impending wedding. There's the drug-caused blackout. Somebody important to the main characters goes missing. Ed Helms' character gets facially mutilated. There's drug dealers, animal hijinks, Ken Jeong doing his effeminate naked gangster bit, unfortunate actions with strippers, an end credits photo highlight reel, the list goes on and on.

It's quite unfortunate, really, that Phillips and screenwriters Scot Armstrong and Craig Mazin didn't take any chances whatsoever with the story, considering how surprisingly original the first film was. The sequel had plenty of potential, especially seeing how the camaraderie between the three leads is still potent, and though there are sprinklings of funny and even shocking moments, the film as a whole feels recycled and lacking in novelty. It doesn't help that the humor in Part II seems more mean-spirited and unnecessarily dark, and almost completely lacking the sense of frathouse joy that permeated the first film.

Being a huge fan of the first Hangover, this new installment felt like a cinematic slap in the face, purely content with more of the same when it could have been so much more. Clearly not the hair of the dog that it was intended to be, The Hangover Part II is one such party that you probably WON'T be fondly remembering after the nausea goes away.

Letter Grade: "D"

Review: "YOUNG ADULT"

Let the record be shown that high school was not an ideal time of my life. As a socially awkward nerd with virtually no stock in that most prized adolescent possession-- popularity-- the majority of my teenage years clearly did not serve as my glory days. Bitter, jaded, and swearing revenge, I spent the rest of my life in my dank, ominous cave which reeked of Cheetos and Shasta cola, plotting my earth-shattering vengeance against the jocks and prom queens who reaped the benefits of being pretty, socially acceptable, and hygienic.

Okay, the second half of that paragraph wasn't exactly true (except for maybe the Cheetos thing, but really, can you blame me?). But high school definitely served as a major catalyst of change for me and probably everybody else who was unfortunate to experience it. After all, social politics superseded education in importance during those days, and many teenagers (and still some adults) believe high school to be the ultimate arbiter in cementing one's emotional and social destiny.

Or is it? After all, the miracle of social networking sites such as Facebook or MySpace have allowed us to witness how much our former classmates have changed. Some personalities may have matured. Some folks got married and had kids (or the other way around). Some went on to great collegiate and/or professional careers. And some, unfortunately, wallowed in the selfish, hard-partying mindset that was oh-so-cool back in the day, and refused (either consciously or subconsciously) to grow up.

That's the dilemma that fuels Young Adult, a bleak yet satisfyingly dark dramedy from the Juno team of director Jason Reitman and screenwriter Diablo Cody.

37-year-old Mavis Gary is a Minneapolis-based ghostwriter for the once-successful young adult book series Waverly Prep, and is racing towards a deadline with her editor (voice of J.K. Simmons) to send in the manuscript for the series' last installment. Living alone with only her dog as a companion, Mavis one day receives an e-mail celebrating the birth of her old high school flame Buddy's (Patrick Wilson) daughter.

Still pining for Buddy after all these years, and incensed that she isn't still with him as she believes it should be, Mavis decides to drive back to her hometown of Mercury, Minnesota and take Buddy back for herself. Under the pretenses of overseeing a real estate deal, Mavis manages to set up a reunion with Buddy at a dive bar for the next night, but while waiting in the meantime, she unexpectedly reunites with former classmate Matt Freehauf (Patton Oswalt), who's still suffering from a limp and lower-body mutilation caused by being brutally tortured by bullies years earlier because they thought he was gay.

Matt learns of Mavis' selfish plan, and despite warning against her trying to destroy Buddy's blissful marriage with his wife Beth (Elizabeth Reaser), he and Mavis form an unlikely friendship. As Mavis continues on with her brazen goal to seduce and regain Buddy and relive her high school glory days, she must confront not only a town that's changed greatly since she abandoned it, but also her own self and the arrested emotional development that seemingly everybody but her seems to notice.

It's very rare to go into a movie and openly despise a protagonist even though they're... well, the protagonist. Sure, it's common and even pleasing to have a character with flaws that grounds them and makes them relatable to the audience, but that clearly wasn't enough for director Reitman and scribe Cody, whose work here is probably her most mature and well-thought-out to date, most likely due to the virtual lack of the "quirky hipster" talk that permeated Juno (which was good despite it) and Jennifer's Body (which was bad because of it).

It's also a testament to the acting skills of Charlize Theron, seeing how an incredibly gorgeous actress like herself is able to make Mavis completely unattractive by virtue of heavy personality flaws alone. Her Mavis is clearly stuck in her late teens despite pushing 40, and even though she's carved out a successful living for herself professionally, her personal live is a shambles, flooded with booze, one-night-stands, and a clear disdain for life and people in general.

It's a fascinating character study, and despite having probably no redeeming qualities whatsoever (or perhaps because of it), the character is a good examination on the themes of growing up, the inability for some to overcome psychological damages, and moving on with one's life after failing in one's goals or dreams.

Even better (and more pleasantly surprising) is comedian Patton Oswalt as Mavis' old classmate and polar opposite. His character Matt went through hell in high school (where Mavis was at her best), but is now at peace with where life brought him (again, vice versa). Possessing the conscience and humility that Mavis sacrificed to retain her social status, Oswalt serves as the film's heart and soul. Despite admonishing Mavis for living in the past and plotting to destroy a marriage, Matt clearly has wounds (physical and emotional) that don't seem to have healed.

Quite frankly, Young Adult will not be for everyone. Many might be turned off by the rampant unpleasantness of Theron's character, as well as the bleak, misanthropic tone in general (indeed, the black comedy factor could stand to kick up several notches in some parts), but the overall themes of clinging to adolescence, confronting one's past, and learning to move on still ring true, and thus makes Young Adult an engaging (if not decidedly entertaining) watch.


Letter Grade: "B"

Review: "THE MUPPETS"

One of the problems I've had with many films aimed at children in recent years is the fact that little to none of the material allows the parents or other adults dragged along to even slightly enjoy the proceedings for which they paid upwards of $20 for. I'm not saying that the filmmakers need to throw in violence, naughty language, or sex to keep the grown-ups from rolling their eyes at the obnoxious/cloying/infantile material, but if studios such as Pixar have proven anything, you can certainly sprinkle in an ample amount of sly humor, intelligent storytelling, and pop-culture references to keep the adults entertained while staying wholesome enough for the kiddies to watch.

Having grown up watching their films and reruns of their eponymous 1970's variety show, this adult-friendly aspect was what allowed me to still appreciate the adventures of Jim Henson's Muppets by the time I was an adult. Even though the exploits of Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, et al. were always silly, goofy, and other similar adjectives, there was always a sense of self-referential reflexivity and knowing (almost subversive) humor that managed to put a goofy smile on faces of those of us who are beyond elementary school.

And despite Henson's untimely death in 1990, the Muppets (who were purchased by Disney in 2004) stayed strong with a variety of theatrical and made-for-television films, specials, and maintaining their position as a cultural mainstay for children of multiple generations. And thankfully, we get to add one more generation to those exposed to Henson's creations with the simply-titled feature The Muppets, a hilarious, sweet, and highly nostalgic theatrical comeback for Kermit and Company.

Growing up in Smalltown, U.S.A., Gary (Jason Segel) and Walter (performed by Peter Linz) are brothers and close pals, but as they grow up into adults, there's a little problem: while Gary grows to be a normal adult man, Walter remains a Muppet-sized individual. But while growing up, Walter discovered The Muppet Show, becoming it's biggest fan.

In the present day, Gary is planning to celebrate his and his girlfriend Mary's (Amy Adams) ten-year anniversary by going to Los Angeles, and despite Mary's slight reservations, Walter tags along, with hopes of seeing the now defunct Muppet Theater. Walter becomes discouraged to see that the Theater's now a dilapidated, empty relic, and is even more distressed when he hears that evil businessman Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) is plotting to take control of the Theater and raze it for the oil deposits that are underneath.

Determined to save the Theater, Walter, Gary, and Mary manage to track down former Muppet host and leader Kermit the Frog (performed by Steve Whitmire). Despite the Muppet crew having broken up and becoming estranged years earlier, Kermit is convinced to try to round up the old gang and broadcast a telethon in an effort to raise $10 million so the Theater can be bought back before the deed expires.

With help from Gary, Mary, and Walter, Kermit recruits old friends such as Fozzie Bear (performed by Eric Jacobson), now a stand-up comic in Reno; the Great Gonzo (performed by Dave Goelz), who currently runs a plumbing empire; and Kermit's old squeeze and current editor of Vogue magazine, Miss Piggy (performed by Eric Jacobson). With time running out, the Muppets do all they can to reignite The Muppet Show and save their old home from Richman's nefarious plans.

Not having appeared on the big screen since 1999's Muppets from Space, it was unclear whether or not the Muppets could make a grand splash into not only cinemas, but also a new generation of children who were unlikely to have been exposed to the characters in the age of iPhones and YouTube (well, unless they were privy to the brilliant Muppets cover of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" released two years ago). But thankfully, one of the reasons behind the never-aging Muppets' longevity was their ability to adapt to the pop culture, technology and trends of whatever era they inhabited.

Director James Bobin and screenwriters Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller realized this, and as a result successfully managed to meld both nostalgia and modern pop sensibilities into one, big act of what's essentially fanservice to both old fans and new recruits. And it's that tried-and-true sense of idealism that once again gives The Muppets their heart. We get all the requisite life lessons ranging from the importance of friendships (embodied by the Muppets getting the band back together after years of being apart) to being true to yourself (Walter having to decide whether he's man or Muppet).

What's better is that the tone never gets cynical or pessimistic, and instead celebrates the idealism Henson and his creations embraced. The catchy, original musical numbers are top-notch (though a climactic reenactment of the classic "Rainbow Connection" manages to get a wistful lump in the throat, as it did over thirty years ago), the humor is rife with plenty of pop culture references (Gonzo's chickens clucking to Cee-Lo's "F*ck You"? Yes, please) and self-parody, and the performances by both humans and Muppets are absolutely delightful to watch.

Both Segel and Adams do a fine job as the overly chipper couple thrust into the Muppets' predicament, as does the usually stoic Chris Cooper as the dastardly tycoon intent on capitalizing on the Muppet Theater (and breaking out into wholly unexpected gangster rap solos extolling the virtues of cynicism in contemporary society. Trust me, it's hysterical). The various celebrity cameos (a classic Muppet staple) are funny and numerous, including Jack Black as a sponsor for a now-tame Animal in an anger management therapy group, Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl as a drummer in a crummy Muppets tribute band, Emily Blunt as Miss Piggy's no-nonsense receptionist, and, natch, Neil Patrick Harris as himself, wondering aloud why he wasn't naturally chosen to host the telethon ceremony.

But the whole flesh-and-blood human element could've been excised entirely, and the film still could've been a blast to watch with just those charming felt puppets on display. It's just a pleasure seeing Kermit and pals back in action and knowing that they're free from the pitfalls of aging and losing relevance. Breathing new life into a beloved franchise without betraying the original heart and soul that made the characters what they are, The Muppets is proof that even though some references may fly over the kiddies' heads, it's a very small price to pay when you can go to a movie that both children and adults can agree upon in terms of sheer entertainment value.

Letter Grade: "A"